That I was not just a person with a question, but an unredeemably flawed person due to the sins of my ancestors. The worst of it, and the proof of it, was that I could not see my own inferiority. The only cure was to self-flagellate in some manner, and I certainly did not deserve any kind of consideration or help; I could not hope anyone would ever talk to me.
I had learned these things as a child, of course, but as I grew I stopped hearing them and I had not expected to have to hear them again. But then I heard them, and I hear them waking up most mornings still. (And I should not have the intellectual inclination, because it hurts people.)
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 