Now I am transformed, having decided I have authority. This is new … very new. It frees up a lot of head-space. Self-doubt was the goal of Reeducation, but I was like this before. Getting further to the bottom of what Reeducation did: I think it said, lodged in us, the idea that we were … More Transformatif
I am still bored with the “formative” series since this weblog is already my Bildungs-space, but it is still an opportunity to look at things from a slightly different angle and think of a few new things. One thing I have always wondered about is what the students mean when they say I am not … More Formatif et déformatif
…on Reeducation as gendered attack. You were not to think as an autonomous adult or as a person with any kind of professional training. These were considered signs of poor, not good mental health and the truth is the opposite. On another topic, I must remember to write my three-tiered manifesto. Axé.
I kept being told not to be a professor because it would entail living in the snows of Madison, Wisconsin or Ann Arbor, Michigan and doing research — things I could not tolerate and could not do, according to them. If people had actually wanted to dissuade me, they should not have threatened me with … More And also
“If you are not a professor, then you are an uncultured person interested only in money.” “Because you were so selfish as to do the Ph.D, you owe it to the world to be a professor — in any circumstances, and no matter what else you might have to give up.” “If you are not … More It is an ignorant attitude, actually
I think I will go to the botánica and have trauma removed. I am utterly allergic to having teaching supervised by persons who know nothing about it. I used to feel fear and guilt around this, but now I feel anger. I do not think the way I “check out” of these traumatic situations is … More Botánica
L’AZUR De l’éternel azur la sereine ironie Accable, belle indolemment comme les fleurs Le poète impuissant qui maudit son génie A travers un désert stérile de Douleurs. Fuyant, les yeux fermés, je le sens qui regarde Avec l’intensité d’un remords atterrant, Mon âme vide, Où fuir? Et quelle nuit hagarde Jeter, lambeaux, jeter sur ce … More Stéphane Mallarmé
If what is formative is what you struggled for then we can say I: – fought tooth and nail for reason and rationality (and no, not rationalization or false logic or emotionlessness) – fought tooth and nail to go to a real university and not just a nice safe nurturing college – fought tooth and … More Des luttes
At the café we discussed our lack of focus and the disturbing agitation of the atmosphere this semester. We decided we were not actually slackers, but that we had our energy blocked, and were “checked out” because of wanting to check out not from our work but from the disturbing atmosphere. We decided we should … More Au café
I should talk about kinds of music, nature, and possibly storybooks and poems, to participate in that series on “formation.” I should also talk about the grape boycott and related events of that time. Really what I have to say is that I should never have left California or rather, that I never had the … More Stand-in
