The key, as we know, is taking authority in your own life and believing in your competence and reasonableness. This is what Reeducation took from me almost definitively, and what I am still trying to retake. I really need it. In Reeducation, taking reasonable care of oneself and one’s life was anathema, because it was … More More mantra
(It is amazing how much I have to write in here to encourage myself and de-terrorize myself, is it not?) It is amazing how one of the reasons I am afraid to start working on anything work related, especially teaching related, because when I do I will hear the voice of dat whiteman saying I … More Et encore, le mantra de la semaine
A lot of the work I do is discouraging because it is not what I want to do and because with the people I have available, it is poorly done. Antidote: research time and perceiving myself as autonomous. These are the two things we are not permitted enough of, or often enough, here. The reason … More Peace of mind
Et cette série m’ennuie; il me semble que je l’ai déjà écrit, dans ce même codex. My intellectual formation, comment elle s’est donnée, on le sait. And: did one need my life to become me? My friend Nicky has a formation very like mine but did not come to it by the same paths at … More Les mathématiques
C’est quoi qui m’a formée? Et si c’est tout? I have written these things down before, but in Spanish and more interestingly, in the style of Altazor (or so I imagined). But très rapidement, I created my research program when I was two or three. At that time I was acquiring language and noticing that … More Formatif
I think it is so foregrounded now because there is so little of it. In the past research was done in most undergraduate classes but now, instead, select undergraduates undertake supervised research projects while others do not learn research skills. Thus does the neoliberal university say it is doing more when it is in fact … More On undergraduate research
I went to California on some difficult business and it was so beautiful, it was like being on vacation regardless of the circumstances. Driving to the airport I crossed the Golden Gate Bridge in April sunlight and it was a normal day. The man next to me on the plane from San Francisco to Dallas … More Stirrings
I am again mortally offended, and it comes from another quarter. One cannot and should not defend against unfounded accusations, is what I have decided. And the university is falling apart, I am told. In the meantime and on another topic: take care of yourself, do not worry about work, is another one of those … More Et encore encore encore encore
Service: no nonsense. Teaching: low expectations. Research situation: vigilance. Recreation and general self-care: a lot. In Reeducation, as we know, I learned that I should not be the center of my own life or take authority in it. I learned to be apologetic about and ashamed of my various achievements and intellectual orientation. I learned … More Formula and plan
One of my friends points out, in a nonacademic context, that life in limbo is a hard thing to manage. This is a good observation and I think living in limbo is one of the main stressors of academia. Of course you can say that uncertainty is everywhere but I am speaking of the constant … More Limbo
coldhearted scientist وداد 