Papa Grows Funk
05/05/2011
Axé.
Lo que ens falta, ho tindrem, lireta liró
04/05/2011
Petita bonica, lireta liró. Rossignol que vas a França, rossignol. Nightingale on your way to France, send me a score above 160. Naturally I want a score above 170 but that would be lagniappe. Above 160 is good, rossignol. Student: I failed because I did not do homework. Two years at this university and I … More Lo que ens falta, ho tindrem, lireta liró
L’histoire, or, Conjugations and Declensions, or Something I Wrote Before Writing My Very Important Post
03/05/2011
I am academically oriented in fact, but originally this industry was also important to me because it was the only place I knew I was competent. It was thus the only route to sustenance and safety, and I cared about it for those reasons as well as purer ones. That is why my first academic … More L’histoire, or, Conjugations and Declensions, or Something I Wrote Before Writing My Very Important Post
No Power Over Me Any More. A Very Important Post.
01/05/2011
To break a spell, you are to say to the requisite person, “You have no power over me any more.” And believe it, and breathe it in, and make it true. Others, it appears, are already well settled into academic writing schedules and summer routines. I have three finals to give and grade, and two … More No Power Over Me Any More. A Very Important Post.
On Menaces and Threats
01/05/2011
The reason I feel academic work is destructive is the prevalence and repetition of menaces and threats therein. From birth I am familiar with this feeling — someone will make a misstep, work will be cut. It is hard to concentrate in this atmosphere. There are no jobs, one false move and you are gone, … More On Menaces and Threats
Psychological Hygiene for Summer
01/05/2011
As you can see and will see, I am really exhausted and depressed. My cat, who was my anti-suicide insurance is gone, and just any cat will not do the trick. Getting out of town makes my other identity, the happy one, kick in but this summer I am incarcerated here — against all plans, … More Psychological Hygiene for Summer
So…
01/05/2011
…I would like to do some work this summer, then, on the flashbacks and the feelings of illegitimacy / guilt. How to do it — care of self, perhaps. You have to have a strong body and pleasure, and be good to yourself. I think I can focus / meditate and reimagine myself. I think … More So…
Lake
01/05/2011
One should not stare too long into the abyss lest one become it, I know, but I am benefiting from the morose series of posts I am writing because they are helping me excavate the sources of the pain I am in, shine some light on it and ideally, dry it up and brush it … More Lake
On Leaving
30/04/2011
One of my colleagues said yesterday, “You have so many talents, so many competencies for so much, it is really admirable.” * The more I think about it the more I realize how deep the guilt is that keeps me in place, growing quieter each year. Let us review my sins, as I feel them, … More On Leaving
Kitlingen
29/04/2011
On May Day my cat will complete his second month of absence. I was told when I adopted him that I should not let him outside because he could meet a terrible death. I let him outside, anyway, on the feeling that one should not incarcerate anyone. I regret that some days, since he may … More Kitlingen
