Sheet music

In my file reduction effort I recycled some photocopied and and also hand-transcribed and photocopied sheet music. It is just too tattered, and also I can’t play at that level any more–and if I ever can, I will have new music. But this sheet music was part of my old identity, for one thing. For another, it reveals how advanced I was as a player. I had not realized this at the time. But I think this might be something I’m good at. Even now, at the jam, some old guy asked me who I was, because I could really pick.

I also found a really old draft of something I am writing now. It is thirty years old. I used to not finish anything because it wasn’t what I was supposed to be writing. (Without that complex I would be famous and happy by now, I am sure.) I’ve already superseded this paper draft so I am recycling it, but something in it of interest is that I say Oswald de Andrade lacks structure, he has “dispersión sin orden” … chaos and claims to agency, but nothing like the sort of coherence we get in Menchú (notice, I was writing this i n the 90s). Chaos and claims to agency is interesting, and so is dispersión sin orden, lack of coherence.

I discovered, too, that the man who signed me onto a book contract I didn’t want, and that ruined me for decades, was probably in the grip of a manic episode when he did it. He says he can stay manic for years. So that was why I felt rushed into it all. This is very interesting.


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