It will say: 1. My father can drive. 2. He can shop, and has always done. 3. He can cook, and has always done. 4. He eats three meals a day more religiously than you or I. 5. No, he does not need “24 hour care.” That was what he arranged for my mother, who … More I will make a T shirt
People were so stressed yesterday. My dentist was blocked into his house by a flood and did not meet his appointments. I conversed with one who is concerned he will not be allowed to teach his course with the same textbook a second time, one who does not realize she is going to pass her defense, … More Zen
99. The cognitive dissonance. You must believe you have a certain life, and you must produce what you could produce if you had it, while actually living another and producing things from that life (which you must hide if you wish to get ahead, because in the land of Ahead, worthy people have not had … More …reasons 99 and 1001 to leave academia
Now I am transformed, having decided I have authority. This is new … very new. It frees up a lot of head-space. Self-doubt was the goal of Reeducation, but I was like this before. Getting further to the bottom of what Reeducation did: I think it said, lodged in us, the idea that we were … More Transformatif
I kept being told not to be a professor because it would entail living in the snows of Madison, Wisconsin or Ann Arbor, Michigan and doing research — things I could not tolerate and could not do, according to them. If people had actually wanted to dissuade me, they should not have threatened me with … More And also
I think I will go to the botánica and have trauma removed. I am utterly allergic to having teaching supervised by persons who know nothing about it. I used to feel fear and guilt around this, but now I feel anger. I do not think the way I “check out” of these traumatic situations is … More Botánica
If what is formative is what you struggled for then we can say I: – fought tooth and nail for reason and rationality (and no, not rationalization or false logic or emotionlessness) – fought tooth and nail to go to a real university and not just a nice safe nurturing college – fought tooth and … More Des luttes
At the café we discussed our lack of focus and the disturbing agitation of the atmosphere this semester. We decided we were not actually slackers, but that we had our energy blocked, and were “checked out” because of wanting to check out not from our work but from the disturbing atmosphere. We decided we should … More Au café
I should talk about kinds of music, nature, and possibly storybooks and poems, to participate in that series on “formation.” I should also talk about the grape boycott and related events of that time. Really what I have to say is that I should never have left California or rather, that I never had the … More Stand-in
A lot of the work I do is discouraging because it is not what I want to do and because with the people I have available, it is poorly done. Antidote: research time and perceiving myself as autonomous. These are the two things we are not permitted enough of, or often enough, here. The reason … More Peace of mind
coldhearted scientist وداد 