I will call the roofer. I will have a hauler take the old bookcase and futon away. I will work on the car. I will resist the acquisition of a different bookcase, even on the theory that it will help me organize books; I will proceed with book reduction. I will, however, acquire three more … More Further things I will do
Today I wrote 302 words and discovered lacunae in my research — serious ones. Advice to new faculty is that it is never true that reading and writing, in that order, do not come first — no matter how many times they say that in your current context, this is not true. I have too … More La fragmentación
I will find out whether I am still in LASA and ILLI. I will find out whether I can receive paper copies of my father’s insurance bill. I will do other things on my lists. I am changing my life. I do wish the university were not such a space of torture, and that I … More More things I will do
The other thing is that I just have so much pain and grief associated with this academic field that it is hard to function. People always said I must soldier on because it was what I had chosen — I had to bear my cross. Now they say they see it has not worked out … More The thing at the back of my mind that I wish were a palm
It isn’t actually self-doubt or self-hatred, or laziness or lack of commitment or not knowing what one wants, or depression. It is longing. I long to: – live somewhere I feel happy – have an intellectually stimulating life – be safe from torturers, not work with torture – and therefore, be calm enough to really … More Longing
— Work on article every morning 7 days/1h no matter what; ideally come up with a readable and sharable draft — Put syllabi and exams in order — Letters of recommendation — Three bureaucratic tasks: study abroad and two speakers — Meet with painters — Things from old lists There is so much to do. … More This week
I started writing again. In the old way — something every day, in the morning when I can, and spend a lot of related time reading, thinking, organizing notes and papers. The keys for me are not to try to rush and not to get scared self-censor. Part of my block on that Vallejo book … More Et voilà
My friend Omar has a millwork and art workshop where he spends a large part of every day. He says “When I am here, I am happy, and people love my work and thank me for it,” and I envy his non-conflict about his work. In academia we don’t have all the autonomy he has, … More Zen and the art of archery
They have made it too difficult to get. Why should you move across the country to a less than desirable job on the theory that it will be stable and will be a space in which you can do your work, just to be tossed out — particularly when it is not a job that … More On tenure
This is what I learned about priorities. First education: Service and leisure come first. Creative and lucrative work are ornaments that enhance your service potential, or that are parts of leisure. (I was always dissatisfied with this hobbycraft version of life.) College and graduate school: Research and creative work are first, teaching and lucrative work … More On priorities
coldhearted scientist وداد 