I will find out whether I am still in LASA and ILLI.
I will find out whether I can receive paper copies of my father’s insurance bill.
I will do other things on my lists.
I am changing my life. I do wish the university were not such a space of torture, and that I were not so afraid of it. I want to get over this as I have things to do.
I am afraid of it because it is irrational and it has power, and because I have a tendency to internalize its venom.
Here is a good article on the rhetoric of excellence.