I think I will go to the botánica and have trauma removed. I am utterly allergic to having teaching supervised by persons who know nothing about it. I used to feel fear and guilt around this, but now I feel anger. I do not think the way I “check out” of these traumatic situations is … More Botánica
L’AZUR De l’éternel azur la sereine ironie Accable, belle indolemment comme les fleurs Le poète impuissant qui maudit son génie A travers un désert stérile de Douleurs. Fuyant, les yeux fermés, je le sens qui regarde Avec l’intensité d’un remords atterrant, Mon âme vide, Où fuir? Et quelle nuit hagarde Jeter, lambeaux, jeter sur ce … More Stéphane Mallarmé
If what is formative is what you struggled for then we can say I: – fought tooth and nail for reason and rationality (and no, not rationalization or false logic or emotionlessness) – fought tooth and nail to go to a real university and not just a nice safe nurturing college – fought tooth and … More Des luttes
At the café we discussed our lack of focus and the disturbing agitation of the atmosphere this semester. We decided we were not actually slackers, but that we had our energy blocked, and were “checked out” because of wanting to check out not from our work but from the disturbing atmosphere. We decided we should … More Au café
I should talk about kinds of music, nature, and possibly storybooks and poems, to participate in that series on “formation.” I should also talk about the grape boycott and related events of that time. Really what I have to say is that I should never have left California or rather, that I never had the … More Stand-in
Se pedía a grandes voces: -Que muestre las dos manos a la vez. Y esto no fue posible. -Que, mientras llora, le tomen la medida de sus pasos. Y esto no fue posible. -Que piense un pensamiento idéntico, en el tiempo en que un cero permanece inútil. Y esto no fue posible. -Que haga una … More Nómina de huesos
The key, as we know, is taking authority in your own life and believing in your competence and reasonableness. This is what Reeducation took from me almost definitively, and what I am still trying to retake. I really need it. In Reeducation, taking reasonable care of oneself and one’s life was anathema, because it was … More More mantra
(It is amazing how much I have to write in here to encourage myself and de-terrorize myself, is it not?) It is amazing how one of the reasons I am afraid to start working on anything work related, especially teaching related, because when I do I will hear the voice of dat whiteman saying I … More Et encore, le mantra de la semaine
A lot of the work I do is discouraging because it is not what I want to do and because with the people I have available, it is poorly done. Antidote: research time and perceiving myself as autonomous. These are the two things we are not permitted enough of, or often enough, here. The reason … More Peace of mind
There is a nice chapter title for me if I write it in Spanish. Research, deciding not to be afraid about teaching, and other forms of rest and relaxation are very renewing but most renewing is our resolution never to listen to one of the chairs, to say obedezco pero no cumplo … and the … More El “ojo discernador” de Cirilo Villaverde
coldhearted scientist وداد 