This is a cheesy article in some ways but it has a list of types of emotional pain that are all results of internalization of mistreatment. Our whole department has these feelings and it is worth considering. We all need to realize that these feelings are imposed.
How will I combat it? I will say I live here and I am working for our field. I spent the entire day on research-y things and the more I get into it, the happier I am. What do I want? To live somewhere and be a professor. Secretly that was all I ever wanted, but I always had to face the undermining and try to defend against it. One can say I do not want this but really all I do not want are abjection and drudgery.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 