I should write that article, “What is a Scholar?” because I think the question explains a lot, the rules for being an academic, especially in the corporate university, are really different. I would understand a lot by doing it.
I need to re-vision my trajectory in terms more like those Elizabeth sees. Also, there’s something political here. The quotation in that guy’s bio, “Somos los que no alcanzaremos el mar pero permaneceremos en la lluvia. Somos los que aún habrán de nacer” is suggestive. I could say I made political choices and that, separately, I was one of those who lost. Not one of those who failed, or fell off the island because of a fatal misstep, that’s not a useful framing and it may not even be realistic.
I am very tired of the problems I have and have had. I think I’ll just decide not to have them any more. I think setting that intention will help.
I’d like to explore more about anxiety, what it is. Not general anxiety disorder or anything like that, but anxiety. I don’t think I have an anxiety disorder, where you tell yourself that you’re over-worried about whatever the issue is or just medicate symptoms. But I think I suffer from anxiety, physiologically, perhaps genetically, and imitated from parents who had it, as well as because of how our mother taught us to be (she wanted to teach us denial, which is one way to cause anxiety, and there were more things). I’d like to talk to an expert who knows about anxiety but not as a disorder to manage. I think it is much richer than that, and not something one should suppress without looking at it.
Axé.
coldhearted scientist وداد 