This project brings up so much pain and I do not manage it well, do not handle it well, don’t treat myself well, perhaps. I can stop if I don’t think about deadlines, only about doing something now, and don’t require myself to think destructively. This is how I used to be — before I … More And a third
I am getting somewhat better at treating myself decently, after 25 years of Reeducation-induced self-destruction. Part of it has to do with not saying I do not get enough done. In Reeducation: learning to deaden the self, so as not to function at such a high level (because Reeducation didn’t like it). Now: trying to … More And another
…I have been procrastinating research and service in favor of teaching and activism but feel worse about service I procrastinated on than about the research. Here is one thing… I am working with the idea that the modern world was invented in and through America. Race is a key component of modern subjectivity, and the … More One thing
Why this project is difficult: I don’t feel I have the right identity to do it, the legitimacy, the authority. This of course isn’t about the material of the project, it’s about whether I should be allowed to have a research program. I am traumatized by having been told teaching, service have to come first, … More Identité, légitimité, autorité
The people who say there is no difference between the MA and the PhD are also those who say that if there were no tenure, everyone would be FTE with benefits. They have a really different idea of the university than I do and it appears to be a for-profit community college. I believe in … More Perhaps the twain is not destined to meet
And she was executed, after torture, one hundred years ago tomorrow. She hated Prussian men. In this rentrée, how many of your departments were threatened with loss of program? It happens to us every third year or so and it is very unsettling. I am sure it is a tactic designed to throw us off … More Rosa Luxemburg suffered more, and accomplished more in less time
I am glad to be able to travel so much but I wish it took less thought. Since getting back from California it has taken a whole day to fully figure out how to do a weekend of professional travel to Washington, and another to Atlanta. It takes thought because it has to be done … More 1er. monde
1/ All institutions need more tenure track hires. That doesn’t mean everyone has to emphasize research to the exclusion of everything else; it means everyone deserves to be on some form of tenure track. 2/ If you have your NTT people on FTE, with benefits, pensions, offices, telephones, and representation in shared governance, that is … More An argument I will not have again
Clearly, I worked too hard too late yesterday. I knew I was exhausting myself, and I am exhausted. This morning I have lolled about, reading news and e-mail. Today I will make three phone calls and work out, and work for fifteen minutes. This should put me in shape again. Axé.
After sleeping late and reading news, I worked on travel plans for a conference and wrote 150 words of a proposal. I wrote two letters that needed writing, and I will make two phone calls and work out tonight. Update: what I really did was add 580 words to the proposal and hit submit. Moral … More And so
